


Ramblings of a Crazy Old Hermit - Day 161

by crazyoldhermit



Series: Obi-Wan Kenobi: Ramblings of a Crazy Old Hermit [15]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: Gen, Satire
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-27
Updated: 2016-03-27
Packaged: 2018-05-29 12:09:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 680
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6374194
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/crazyoldhermit/pseuds/crazyoldhermit
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The satirical saga continues.  In order to secure the freedom of Luke and Beru from the clutches of the vile gangster Jabba the Hutt, Obi-Wan and Boba Fett set out to capture a rancor.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Ramblings of a Crazy Old Hermit - Day 161

TATOOINE - Day 161

"So, what do you think of Beru?" The little punk had the nerve to ask me. 

"I'm trying not to, kid." 

"She's got a lot of spirit." Boba was treading dangerously close to oblivion. "You think a girl like that and a guy like me...?"

"No!" I responded with the strongest backspin of Force persuasion I could muster. "You're just a boy, plus a criminal and a murderer."

Boba smirked, "And you never murdered anyone, Jedi? I bet you snuffed out thousands of more lives than me." 

I was getting ready to take Boba's head, hang it over the edge of the landspeeder, and dip his face into the sand that was rushing past us. I would buff that stupid expression right off his face. 

Taking a more diplomatic approach I confessed, "It was a time of war, young one."

"I call bullshit, Kenobi! This galaxy is always in a state of war. I kill who I'm hired to kill. The rest I capture, like I did to you."

I chuckled, "Now that is funny, clone. I went with you willingly because you told me Jabba had the woman and boy. That is the only reason."

Boba was silent for a moment as he scanned the horizon for Beggar's Canyon, the home of our elusive rancor. 

The silence was all too enjoyable, and far too short lived. "So Kenobi, what's the deal with that groovy chick and the baby? Is that your family? If so, you’ve been getting busy since the galaxy went down the crapper."

"No, Boba," I smirked. Was I actually starting to like this kid? "I am merely the baby's guardian, and the woman is an unfortunate causality of war."

"Right," was all Boba said, appearing to be deep in thought. 

"Let me ask you something, Boba. How many previous parties set out to capture this specific Rancor?"

"You're finally starting to ask the smart questions." Even though we were in the middle of the dune sea, Boba looked around to see if anyone was around. "This is the fifth group. I am sole survivor of the previous four missions."

"And how did you manage that?" This boy was definitely interesting me. 

"Because I'm smart. When the last man was being ripped in half I would jet pack to safety."

"Interesting."

"And Kenobi, between you and me, the rancor digs on green swine."

"What in blazes does that mean?"

Boba smiled and motioned with his head to the three Gamorrean guards sitting on the back of the landspeeder. He then mouthed the word "bait."

"Oh, that's just awful," I said shaking my head. 

The guards snorted mindlessly.

As we approached the canyon Boba drove along the upper left ridge. We traveled this path for some time and I was amazed at just how deep Beggar's Canyon really was. When we came to an abrupt stop, Boba jumped out of the speeder. 

"This is the spot, Kenobi. We'll take the three guards to the bottom of the canyon and find the cave it's nesting in. Then you and I will return topside, spread the net out across the canyon, and Jabba's expendables will draw the rancor out."

The Gamorrean's snorted as if in agreement, although none of them understood basic. 

"So," I gazed over edge, "how do you propose we get down there?"

"I'll jet pack. Can you handle the jump, Jedi?"

"Oh I think I can handle it." I smiled slightly. "Do you have all the kinks worked out of your armor?"

To my surprise Boba laughed, which caused me to laugh as well. The green pigs just stood there drooling and looking dumb. 

I used the Force to lower the three guards, and then jumped down. Boba struggled with his jet pack, bouncing off the canyon walls once or twice. When all of us were on the ground we spread out to search the area. 

That's when a giant arm reached out from a crevice and grabbed one of the guards. A blood curdling squeal filled the air and echoed throughout Beggar's Canyon.


End file.
